Messing up research: A dialogical account of gender, reflexivity, and governance in auto‐ethnography

This paper aims to contribute a growing critical and reflexive awareness of the implications gendered assumptions about ontology, epistemology, ethics in academic research governance practice. It provides retrospective account authors' shared experiences an autoethnographic study lap dancing clubs, focusing on or “sticky moments” encountered, considering these for more widely. does so by highlighting power relations shaping research, showing how Judith Butler's critique heterosexual matrix can be applied critical, understanding impact binary, hierarchical gender relations. The analysis insight into some ways which sexualized work may become messy, dirty, sticky that accentuate inequalities but also open up moments opportunity binaries hierarchies revealed, challenged, resisted. Using Butlerian lens reflect our experiences, we heteronormative shape perceptions what makes “good,” “clean,” ethically (formally) approved conforms governmental norms and, implication, those contaminating forms disrupt resist its disciplinary effects. As ethnographic is often messy very nature, particularly when situated within sex/sexualized work, aim show inhibit reflexivity knowledge production, resulting processes are (paradoxically) unethical. In response, suggest three might pursued, by: (i) identifying reflexively dialogically, (ii) adopting anti-essentialist approach foregrounds experiential, embodied knowledge, (iii) developing anti-hierarchical methodology. We do hope opening enable others avoid having potentially detrimental consequences their offer starting point production future.